First time home
This was my first
experience with my daughter coming home from the college. When my oldest
decided to move to California for
school we all were very happy, nervous and excited at the same time. It was a
huge change in all of our lives but especially for her. But after going through
home sickness, she put herself together and started accepting the change and adjusted
to her new life.
She has always
been practical rather than emotional but always her mother’s daughter. She is
also my best friend. We both missed each other a lot. Everyday we talked to
each other and from the day she left for school we were counting down the days
until she would come home. Different parents told me different things about their
experiences when their kids came home for the first time. When I went to
airport to pick her up, I was extremely happy and I had happy tears in my eyes.
She was away due to school but this is her
home and I assumed that nothing would have changed, but I was wrong. Yes, she
is my daughter and will always be. But I have to accept that now she has her
own life and doesn’t need me in the same way that she used to. I was used to
taking care of everything for her. Three months ago when she left, she was
nervous and scared yet excited. Three months later when she came home, I
noticed a change in her. She is no longer nervous or scared but I saw a
beautiful mature and confident young adult. One who has found her own identity
and is independent. She still needs her mother but not like before.
I noticed in her
behavior that she wanted me to treat her like an adult. For example, she is a
night owl and loves to watch television and movies. I am not a television fan,
so I like to go to bed early and wake up early as well. I believe it was the 3rd
day she came back and all three of us were watching a movie. The movie ended
around 11:30 or so and I was ready
to go to bed. So I told my girls, “okay let’s turn off the TV and go to the
bed”. She replied back, “Mom if you are tired, you can go to bed. I would like
to watch some more TV”. She was respectful and I didn’t take it the wrong way.
But she has never answered me back before when I tell her to do something. There
were many times that I noticed she was telling me not to treat her like a child
and to trust her.
She got together
with her high school friends a few times, she had a good time and was glad to
see all of them. During breakfast I asked her how her visit was with her
friends. She replied, “Mom I noticed how much I have changed”, I asked her what
she meant by that and she said, “The topics that used to interest me don’t
interest me anymore”. As a mom I felt
very proud of her. She has grown in the last three months. She is my oldest so
anything she is going through is the first time for me too. I felt like she was
helping me grow with her. Now she is at that place where she wants her mom but like
an adult, one who can listen to her without trying to decide for her. She wants
understanding and advice as a friend and mom.
Three weeks went
very fast. And before we knew it, it was time for her to fly back to LA. At the
airport it was very hard for me to say goodbye to her. I know she was having a
hard time too. I never thought about this before but this is part is what I
hate the most about being a mother, the separation from her. This is a new experience for me but I am sure
all parents go through the same thing. I
am very happy for her and looking forward to her bright future.
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