Start living

I believe if not all many of us once in our lives reach the point where you are completely done living a life by others. I am proud to say that I reached that point. 2014 was my wakeup call. The hardest and the biggest year of all and I am celebrating it with sad and happy tears.

I use my writing to express myself but this time I have a totally new view and project and I am dancing with joy. Not to long ago my friend and I were talking about how some other cultures deal with their past or pains. It was a very interesting conversation and I learned a-lot. While we were talking I came up with this idea. This idea will always be in front of me as a reminder but as a very positive and strong reminder.

Here is what I did. The first week of January 2015 I sat down with my journal and wrote down all of my pain, suffering, and insecurities. And then I went to my shed and grabbed a big empty flower pot. I washed it and painted the outside white. Once it dried I grabbed a sharpie and I start writing all around the pot: Childhood struggles, divorced, past, worries, pain, uncompleted dreams, hurt, fears, insecurities, bad relationships and negative people. Let me tell you it wasn’t as easy as it sounds. Each word I was writing down, it took me back to that time and I could close my eyes and see myself standing there. Some emotions were still fresh like yesterday. But it was a very powerful experience.

Once I got done writing I went to the store and bought potting soil and my favorite  planting seeds. I used one seed for each event, buried everything with my own hands and then covered it with dirt. Once I got done I brought it to my living room where I could see it every time I walked by. This was a hard process but at  the same time once I got done I felt so much lighter and powerful. A few weeks later I saw tiny leaves trying to come out of the heavy dirt. And that’s when I started living how I want to live my life again. That tiny plant is more powerful than many powerful things I know. To me it’s full of hope, happiness and full of the future.

I talked to a few of my friends about it and they loved the idea, a few days later they called me and told me they also have a pot in their living room. My whole point of writing this article is whatever method you would like to use please use it. Don’t let one more day go by where someone or something is running your life. Take control of your own life. Let go of your past because it’s not worth it. Start new and fresh. And believe me I know that it can be very scary but what is there to lose? Nothing. Instead you will gain your power back and live your own life how you want to live. That’s freedom to me. And freedom is a beautiful thing.

To all of my friends out there, start living today. You are complete when you know who you are. Everything starts from the inside to outside. Always be honest to yourself and to others. You aren’t competing with anyone but with yourself. And if you believe you are worth it which you are, then do it. Nobody's life is perfect and we all have something from our past we aren’t happy about. We can’t go back there but we can always cope with it now.

I am really excited and happy about how now I feel lighter and free from everything from my past. I wish you can feel free too. Good luck and remember no matter what things could be worse and LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!