The long-distance relationship topic is something diffrent people feel differently about. Most people don’t believe it can work. And those people get questions when they find out someone is in a long distance relationship. I have many couples around me some met online, and some met through friends while they were visiting, then the other person has to go back to their own state or county. They felt chemistry toward each other or clicked and wanted to pursue a relationship. They kept their communication open and they met as much as possible, and before they knew it, they got married had kids and started living together here in the States.
According to the women's health magazine “We're one of the estimated 3.5 million married U.S. couples who live apart—a stat that reflects the rise of online dating (where it's easy to meet someone in a different area), an unreliable job market, and military deployments. And recently, Cornell University researchers confirmed my suspicion: Long-distance duos often communicate better and feel more connected than close-quarter couples. "They know they're at a disadvantage, so they put more time and effort into their relationship," says Tina Tessina, Ph.D. Here, tips that can help your partnership go the distance—even if you're never more than a few miles apart”. http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/long-distance-love. Honestly, I was in shock when I first read it. The number is pretty big. Long distance relationships are real and they do work out.
Here is the intersting story of my dear friend. My friend’s name is Zara. She was born in India and moved to the States as a bride when she was 20 years old. Today Zara is 45 years old. Zara’s ex-husband was also from India. At first everything was great; they have three kids together. But slowly he started losing interest in her. And 15 years later he asked for a divorce. Zara was heartbroken and was forced to become a single parent. With time she started her life again, finished her education, got a really good currier and got involved with many other things she enjoy. She traveled all around the world. Zara become stronger then even. But one thing was for sure; she never ever wanted to meet or get married to another Indian man or ever moving back to India.The USA is her home.
After her children grew up, and she felt like it would be nice to have companionship with the right person. four years ago, Zara decided to date. She met many men from different nationalities. Many of them wanted to Marry Zara. She knew what she was look for, but unfortunately no one could touch her heart.
She was getting frustrated but she wasn’t desperate at all. Zara has a lot going on, but the same time she wishes to share her life with a special person. All of her friends and family knew what kind of person/qualities Zara was looking for in the man.
This is what happened. Last year, one of her Indian friend name Neha told her about a man name Amir who she knew him personally; he is friends with her husband. And Neha lives in the States, and Neha and Zara have been friends forever. Neha thought Amir would be a perfect match for Zara, but as soon as Neha told Zara about Amir, Zara said no because he is from India, and he lives in India too. Nahe tried really had to convince her to give him a chance and then go from there. She said to her “why don’t you meet with him and then decide?” Also Neha told Zara “be open to it and you never know”. Naha also told her not every Indian man was alike. Please give him a chance.
Last summer, Amir was in the States visiting with his kids and was visiting Neha and her family. Amir already knew about Zara from Neha and her husband. He was interested meeting her. Amir himself called Zara and asked her to meet. I don’t know what changed in her, but she agreed to meet with him but with the attitude “ it is just a meeting nothing else” just because Amir was from India. He came to meet with her in her town. As soon as she saw him she couldn't believe how much attraction she felt towards him not just physical, but also mental attraction. He liked her, too. And he asked her to meet again. According to Zara, “It was magical”. The more Amir was telling Zara about his life, the more Zara was getting attractive to him. According to Zara “ He is the one I have been waiting for”. He was honest and told her all about his divorce, past and his two kids. Amir is a businessman and he told her the very first time they met, “ I was living away from India for last 10 years and now I moved back to India and am trying to establish my business again. He also made is very clear that whoever he is going to marry has to live in India with him for at least 5 years or more because right now his business requires his time and full attention. Zara and Amir met a few more times, and then it was time for Amir to go back to India. But they kept the communication open through technology.
It has been almost three months already, and they are both interested in each other and someday would like to marry, but before that there is a lot homework to do from both sides, but especially from Zara’s side. A long time ago, Zara left India for good but now she met her dream boy, and he is from India and he can’t move to the States now but later, after five years. So Zara has to move to India. Can she go back after 25 years of living in the states independently? Will she be OK living away from her kids? There is a huge mentality cultural difference between both countries. Can Zara adopt that and live in India comfortably? Zara has to let go of her career and start all over again in India. She has a lot of things to figure out for herself. Amir, on the other hand, is also concerned will Zara be OK with this life-changing move.
Not too long ago I met Zara for lunch and I asked her, “you never wanted to move back or get married to another Indian man. What changed?” She said, “Amir has all those qualities I always wanted in a man but we still have a long way to go and getting to know each other more”. They are both planning on meeting again soon and getting to each other on a daily basis. Zara also told me that, “It was my dream to meet someone like Amir and now since I met him I want to take a chance and don’t let any fears stop me. And if for some reason if it doesn’t work out, it would be hard to accept, but with time I will. But at least I can always look back and say that I am one of those lucky woman you met her dream guy”. She added, “who would have thought he would be from India”? But now since I met him and this is the situation I am sure with time things will work out for both of us and for our kids. We are very open to each other and communicate about everything”.
After talking to Zara about Amir and knowing he is in an Indian and she is here in the States and they are having a long distance relationship, it made me trust more to just follow your heart and you will find your way. A person like Zara who is very strong and independent, in a million years I will never ever thought she would be thinking about moving back to India for an Indian man. Amir must have something pretty special to have conversed Zara to trust men again. I am very happy for her and wish both of them good luck.
We all wish to have a happy and healthy relationship. We all know that there is no perfect woman or man, so why do we focus on perfection and disappoint ourselves? Instead of focusing on the other person, we should focus on our own self and become the of partner we wish to have. I believe both parties have to invest 100 percent according to have a healthy and a happy relationship. I wish we can all get back to “less is more” and instead of after fairytale concept to get real and share our love to someone special and also get love and respect back in return. Never say never ever. We never know when and how we will meet someone special and our life can change for good forever. Don’t be afraid of change. Yes, it can be scary or difficult, but often change or a difficult road leads to a beautiful place.
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