Visiting my mother

Visiting my mother

Where has the time gone, it has been two weeks already since I came back to my hometown.  It has been since 6 years since I was last here in Karachi, Pakistan. This trip isn’t a vacation but to spend quality time with my mother who recently had a stroke. It was and still is very hard for me to see my mother dependent on others. My heart goes out to her every time I look at her and see her painful situation.  The right side of her body is completely paralyzed.  Her doctor said we are lucky to have her. She had a major stroke and most people don’t survive that. We sisters are blessed to have our mother with us, she is the heart of our family.

When I first arrived and saw her I didn’t like it at all. I went into complete denial about her condition.  Part of me wanted to hide and part of me wanted her to get better in a few days and start walking, talking and behaving just like she used to do.  At some point I had to accept reality and the reality is that she is paralyzed and needs constant care. This is the first time our family is dealing with a stroke. Just like in the USA if you don’t have medical insurance you don’t get proper treatment. My mother doesn’t have insurance so we sisters are trying as much as we can to afford and provide the best treatment for our mother as possible. My heart goes out to the people who are very poor and barely have anything to eat. I wonder what kind of treatment they get when they’re sick and how long the help lasts.

Another experience I had happened the 4^th day I came, my mother’s blood pressure and sugar level went really low and then she started throwing up. My first reaction was to call 911 but there is no 911 system in the Pakistan. We have to call the ambulance and they don’t come right away. You have to call back and make sure they are coming. When the ambulance came no paramedics came with it. It’s the family’s responsibility to help in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.  The driver and his helper help put the patient in the stretcher but there is no belt system in the ambulance to keep the stretcher and patient stable and secure. The family has to hold the patient with their hands. Another interesting thing I noticed is that people don’t stop or give room for the ambulance even when the siren is on. Thought it’s a sad fact, due to the heavy traffic a human life doesn’t seem to have any value.

It turned out nothing was seriously wrong with my mother and the next day she came back home. It was a very real fear however and expense for me.  I was comparing everything and I noticed that nurses don’t wear gloves or wash their hands before they are treating the patient. They won’t touch the patient until you pay a pretty big amount in advance.  An air-conditioned room is way more expensive than a regular room with no air-conditioning.  It is around 100 degrees   Fahrenheit with humidity here, and it feels miserable without cooling. Since my mother being is completely restricted to a hospital bed she gets really hot. And with this hot temperature and the power coming and going it’s hard to keep a person who’s sick feeling comfortable.

If I compare both countries and situations, I would say that the USA is better off.  Here in Pakistan it feels like people are struggling with basic needs that Americans don’t give a second thought about. At my mother’s house the power goes out 3-4 times a day for 2 full hours each time. Those hours you sweat like crazy. We have a generator but it’s extremely loud and most of the time it doesn’t start easily. I was recently told that the generators are made so that they constantly have problems so you have to call again and again for repairs. More and more money goes towards that. Last week I went to my cousin’s house and she was telling me that she doesn’t get water for 2-3 days each week. They have to buy a tank of water for those days.  Many of my mother’s neighbors also don’t have water. Even though they have wells in their homes, due to the hot weather it’s getting dry. They send their little kids with plastic bottles or buckets to other homes to fill them up with water. The poor and middle class people are struggling every single day for basic need and the struggle has become their daily routine.

                We sisters are trying to comfort my mother as much as possible but the reality can’t be changed. Everyone is telling us and I also noticed that compared to when we came, my mothers is doing much better. She is involved as much as she can and asking me about everything.  I also noticed that she had that an emptiness in her eyes but she is still trying to make it each day.  She is a strong woman and a survivor.

                This is our first time dealing with this kind of situation, and God gives us courage each day to move forward and be positive. I don’t know how others have gone through this but it’s not an easy thing. We are trying to make it as best as possible. I pray for my mother and for others all over with sick family members. I pray God would help them, and give them peace and a healthy life.