Purple dress

Purple dress

                                   

     As soon as Yasmeen walked in to the wedding hall in her purple dress, everyone started looking at her. Some were admiring her beauty, some were ashamed and some didn’t know what to say. It was a mix gathering of Pakistanis and Americans. Most of the Pakistanis were in shock. They had never seen Yesmeen in such a dress, and especially at a Pakistani wedding. That’s why their focus was on her purple dress, not her. No one knew what she was going through. She didn’t want to go to the wedding. But she went for her daughters. It was her last sister-in-law’s wedding. Her sister-in-law was good to her from day one. Yasmeen couldn’t say no to her and of course she didn’t want her kids to know what was going on between their parents.

     Two weeks before the wedding, after thirteen years of marriage, she never thought her husband Ali would ask for a divorce.  She was only sixteen years old when she met him. He was the first man in her life. And in her mind he was the last one. She left her country, family, and friends for him and moved to the United States of America. Her marriage was arranged. She loved him so much. She was honest and faithful throughout her marriage. Even though she wasn’t getting the respect and love from him that a wife should receive from her husband. Yasmeen was young and naive. She lives how her mother and her culture taught her how to live as a Pakistani wife.    

            Yasmeen didn’t know how to take the news. In her mind she couldn’t live without Ali. She lived with her parents until she got married. When he gave her the news it was like he had thrown many bombs on her head at the same time. Yasmeen was in so much pain. And her pain was so deep. She felt like Ali took the heart from her chest. She was completely lost and didn’t know which way to turn. She had so much anger toward her culture and her family. According to Pakistani culture, Yasmeen was supposed to wear culture clothes. She was so angry; she chose to wear an American dress. She went to the bridal shop and bought a very pretty, long, sleeveless dress.  She had never worn a sleeveless dress before.  It wasn’t easy for her to be in this dress in front of Pakistani families. It wouldn’t be issue if she wasn’t a daughter-in-law.  Ever since Yasmeen had gotten married to Ali, she felt like it was her responsibility to present her culture. Now, she no longer cared what people would think about her. She wanted people to see her, not her dress.

            Ali doesn’t have a brother. Yasmeen was the only daughter-in-law. Ali’s mother wasn’t happy to see her daughter-in-law in an American dress. Yasmeen knew she would not be happy. But she was tired of pleasing everyone. She had never done anything for herself before. It was her first time making a decision with out asking anyone. She was proud, nervous, scared and delicate. At the party, she was sitting and talking to a family friend, Michael.  Ali’s mother come up to her and said, “Fix your dress”. Yasmeen looked at her dress and said, “Fix what? That’s how the dress supposed to be”. Yasmeen had never answered her back before. Then Ali’s mother said, “How could you do that?  You are my daughter-in-law.” Yasmeen looked at her with hopeless and painful eyes and said, “No, I am not your daughter-in-law anymore. Didn’t your son tell you? He is giving me a divorce”.  Ali’s mother knew what was going on but she was in denial. She had high blood pressure.  She was mad.  She began throwing chairs around and yelling for Ali.  Then, she fainted. Everyone was looking at them. Yasmeen didn’t want to be a part of the drama so she left the wedding right away.

Yasmeen was not angry with her, she was hurt. She had a hard time understanding how her mother-in-law, whom she had always treated like her own mother, could care more about her dress and not her feelings. With what she was going through, and after living with her for thirteen years, how can she be so selfish to just think about her and what society will think? For the first time in Yasmeen’s life, she decided to do something for herself. She had always put herself last.

She tried to talk her husband out of getting the divorce. But he did what he wanted. Two years ago, they divorced. It was a horrible time in her life. She was completely lost. After going through all kinds of emotions, one was morning when she got up after an all nights’ sleep. She felt very different when she saw her daughters’ faces. From that moment, she saw the glass as “half-full”.  Yasmeen chooses to live for her daughters and for herself. She becomes stronger and stronger every single day. The first thing she did was to write down the things she had always wanted to do.  To do what she thought was best and ignore the people that told her she couldn’t. She went back to school to get her college degree. She took up skydiving.  She started living with her daughters by herself and with confidence. She worked hard and rose up her self-esteem. She even became model. She had never before had the chance to know who Yasmeen is, what she wanted to do or what makes her happy. She is a great example for her daughters as a single mother from Pakistan. Today she is happily living with her daughters in the States with her head up and following her dreams.