Taking my 2016 inventory

Is it just me or time is flying by. It seemed like we just started 2016 but we are already into end of 2016. As you know, I like to do my whole year inventory. I like to see did I grow, made progress and where am I heading from here.

January: One of our very close family member passed away. That was a shock.

And I started teaching tae kwon do.

February: My birth month. The moment my entire family has been waiting for since 2004, we received my sisters immigration letters. It says now it’s time for their turn, start collection all the legal documents.

March: March was a smooth month.

April: We had a addition to our family. My niece gave birth to a baby boy name Nooh Ahmed in Canada. He sure fulfilled our Ami’s absence.

May: Mother’s day!

June: This was my very first time I went to Los Angeles. The words can’t describe how proud we parents feel when we see our kids graduating from the college. My oldest daughter, Iman, made me extra proud of her.

July! In July right before Iman was supposed to come back home she got a decent job at her university. Blessings.

August: My youngest daughter, Herrah, turned 21 years old. It was a huge deal to me and to my family because last year she got pretty ill. She didn’t quit because she is a fighter and she came out more mature and stronger then ever. Also she found out that she got an internship in Washington D.C. And moved to D.C for the entire semester.

September: I met people from Brazil. And we become friends.Their positive energy, attitude, humbleness and gratitude helps me become better human being.

October: D.C is one of my favorite city in the States. I went to see Herrah in D.C. It was great to see her and her life there. She was blossoming.

November: The most important month of the year! Thanksgiving! I was thankful for every single small and big things and people, friends and family around me. Also since February I have been working on my sister's immigration papers. Finally I got a letter from National visa center saying “Your sisters’ files are completed”. It meant we didn’t need anymore documents from me. At this point we are waiting for their interview letters. The words can’t describe how relieve I was.

December: Both of my girls are home, and we spending holidays and starting our New Year together.

I glimpsed big events around for each month. And I combined 365 days into one or two  pages. There was many days from almost each month of the year it seemed like never end and there was days I didn’t wanted to ended. But the bottom line is that’s life. Until the end we will have good and bad days. And it’s up to us, which days and how long we want to stare at. What’s done is done; we can’t go back and change but we can learn from it and make better choices for the future. And also mowing forward it a better choice then stuck in the past.

Let me take all of the labels off of me and tell you how was my year: As I promised to myself beginning of the 2016 I will not check my weight but to focus on healthy lifestyle I am proud to say I am into healthy eating and working out people’s categories. Also I created my entire surrounding with healthy, positive, caring, uplifting and good truly caring people. I feel blessed to have a job, beautiful coworkers, friends, family, health and the most important thing my healthy mind, soul and the caring heart.  

Over all my 2016 was a good year. And I hope you also had a good year, and let's hope that 2017 will be also a good year for you and your family!  

What are you thankful for?

Next week is Thanksgiving. Most of us look forward to the American thanksgiving holiday! Not all -- but most of us -- will be off from work. Many people have travel plans and be with there family and friends. And the stores are full of Thanksgiving things. Everywhere we look, around we see excitement and preparations for the holiday.    

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays! The reason is because it doesn’t belong to one culture or one religion. It belongs to all of us: Young, old, male, female, black, white, brown, American-born and even to every single immigrant here in the USA. It is a beautiful tradition, and I hope it will stay like that forever. I wonder how many of us know the history of Thanksgiving. Here is the link you can read all about it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanksgiving_(United_States)

While we are celebrating Thanksgiving with our love ones, let's not forget there are so many people who doesn't have family and friends who love and care about them. Let’s not forget to include them. And there are also many people who have family and friends but for some reason they can’t be with them. Let’s include them, too, and make them feel part of your family. It may not mean a lot to you, but I know it will mean a whole lot to them. I am one of those who will be alone this thanksgiving not because I don’t have family or friends; no, I am pretty rich in that area. For some personal reasons my girls and I cannot be together on this year’s Thanksgiving. Look how blessed I am: Six different of my  beautiful, loving, caring, sweet friends have invited me into their homes with their families to celebrate Thanksgiving with them. It means so much to me. And you know who you are. On this Thanksgiving,  I thank you from bottom of my heart and am truly thankful for your friendship. People like you make this world more beautiful.

I absolutely love everything about Thanksgiving but I wish instead of family and friends meeting once a year,  we could make time to meet often and be thankful everyday,  not just once a year.

If you are one of those people who feel like nothing is working toward you and you have nothing to be thankful for, please take a moment and look around you again.

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for. :-)

My country's music came to my back yard

Sept. 9 was my very first time going to Krannert Center for their opening night. I didn’t know what to expect, except I knew there would be a different kind of band playing.  Krannert is one of my favorite place in town. When I walked in, the lobby was full of people, there were many different kinds of food, and a band was playing. I ran into many familiar faces and I was enjoying my time there.

After I walked around with my friends, we decided to listen to the band and have a good time. I wanted to see which band was playing. Before even I looked up, I heard the drums beating, and right away I knew they were playing Indian music. The sound of drums beating took me back to back home. It was so nice to hear my own country’s music. Soon I learned that the band called Red Baraat, and they came from Brooklyn, N.Y. Red Baraat’s energy was great, and the songs they sang were in my native language.

When we immigrants left our birth county, it was a huge part of us we leave behind. When we see the native food we grow up with, we get excited about it. Also the people who speak same language feel connected with each other. But with time we may lose the taste of our food and the language or the connection with others. But I must say the music you grow up will always stay with you.

We are very lucky to have krannert within our reach. When I heard Red Baraat at karannet, it was like having my country’s music take me back to my background. It’s not like I haven’t heard my native language’”s live music before. Yes, I have but in the big city, not in Urbana. One of the downsides of living in a small town is things are limited. If you want more experiences then you have to travel, and that takes planning. But I was really proud and happy to see the band at Krannert. Yes, this is a small time but sometimes small town surprise you, and that’s when  you appreciate your small town. I know I do.   

Making me think

I have chosen not to write about the politics and the race issues, not because, I am afraid to give my opinion but because I am not sure through my writing people will fully understand my message without jugging me or missing my point. I am not prejudiced toward any race or religion. And yes, my birth country is Pakistan, but my home is the U.S.A. Without going into the politics and racial issues, I recently started thinking about what is happening around us and am I making a mistake to bringing my family here in the USA?

My family and I have been separated for the last twenty six years. In 2004 I applied for my sisters’ immigration. Twelve years later their turn come, and right now I am working really hard to bring them here. The immigration visa process is very long and very stressful. But my focus has always been family being together. And I can’t wait until the day my entire family will be here with me. It’s almost to the end, but recently I started thinking that I hope I am not making a mistake. Here is why: The news is full of white people not treating blacks equally and especially how our white police officers are treating blacks. The election is nearby, and many people aren’t happy with our future Presidential nominees. The more I talk to people, the more I hear people are afraid of their future and really worried about the election and after the election. They are also worried  about where the United States is heading. We have a lots of issues.  

I moved here 26 years ago, and good or bad this is my home country. I am always comparing the United States with Pakistan because I haven’t been to any other county. The United States is a great county to live in with full freedom, and if you want to you can achieve any of your dreams.

My sisters’ lives are about to take a huge turn. They will be leaving their birth country. Now they are in their middle age, and it will be an adjustment for all of us, but especially for them. We are all aware of that. But we are all very excited because family will be together. But should I be worried about bringing my sisters to the United States while people are not getting treated equally and most of the American are afraid of the future president. Even if I am making a mistake, only time will tell, but my heart is saying no, I am not making a mistake. I am all about family, and please keep praying that my my sisters will pass their visa interview and they will all be here soon.

How to handle stress

By nature I am a very understanding and a positive person. I don’t stress out easily, unless I feel extremely overwhelmed, and even at that point I try my best to handle things calmly. The people around me would not be able to tell if I am overwhelmed unless I tell them. I can hide it very well. But I am human and I don’t always win.

Not too long ago, I had days where I reached my limit and couldn’t take it anymore. One by one, things started going wrong. And I was very stressed and felt overwhelmed. When I reached that level, even at that time, I know that’s not me and I just needed to hang in there, but that hanging in there time is very hard to do. I am sure many of you can relate to me.

They say when you are under stress or not feeling well, don’t make any big decisions. There is a reason for that because our thinking aren’t clean and we decide things based on our emotions,  which is so true. And what did I do? I decided to quit tae kwon do.

Tae kwon do (TKD) has been huge part of my life for a long time. For me TKD isn’t just a physical; it’s also a mind, body and soul exercise. The hour when I am doing TKD that’s the only time in 24 hours I am 100-percent present and I don’t think about anything else but I am fully present.

Due to feeling overwhelmed and stressed, I wasn’t getting enough sleep.I was worried about everything also being at TKD class on time. My body was feeling very tight, and my positive attitude was gone. I was eating unhealthy food. I didn’t feel like doing anything even sitting down and journaling. So what did I do? I decided to take a break from TKD. But before I did that, I talked to my instructor and explained to him what was going on. And I am thinking about taking a break.

My instructor’s name is Hany Youssef. He isn’t just a great instructor. He is also a very good human. He is also a family man and he understand life very well. He listened to me and then he said taking a break wouldn’t solve any of your issues but if you wanted to, you could try. But remember: Exercise always helps to reduce stress. He also said when we are under stress we forget proper breathing.  He said I should try to stretch three or four  times a day and especially before I go to bed, and that would help me to get a good night’s sleep. He also said at the end of the day, that’s life; we will all always have something to deal with, so instead of resisting, learn how to deal it.   

There was nothing he said to me I didn’t know already, but it was a good reminder. And he also pointed out whatever you do, don’t forget to enjoy. I agreed with him.

Many times I find myself focusing on the destination and I forget to enjoy the journey. The very simple things we can do to make our days and life better are slow breathing, laughter and drinking water. How simple and easy things are to do. But as human we get caught up on unnecessary things, and that’s when our focus shifts to things are not important. I need to keep reminding myself that stress isn’t my friend. And instead to worrying about the future, don’t forget to enjoy today and be in control.  

“Stress is not what happens to us. It’s our response TO what happens. And RESPONSE is something we can choose.”

– Maureen Killoran, life coach.

Summer is halfway over

Summer is the time many people start prepared themselves way ahead of time, so they can enjoy outdoor actives. Many women focused on their body and start losing weight or workout so they can look good when they put on a swimming suit. Different people focus  on different things and have different summer plans. But before we know it, summer is halfway over, and soon we will all be dealing fall/cold weather.
We all know the weather played a huge role in our body/lives. But if you are one of those who worked really hard for this summer, don’t let it waste it. And then start all over again next year. We all know how easy it is to get off the wagon. As soon as you realize it, get on it again. Try your best to eat healthy and workout. Anything is better than doing nothing.
And if you one of those people who had a plan to eat healthy and look good this summer and for whatever reason you couldn’t reach your goal, please don’t be discouraged. It’s is never too late to reach a person goal. Don’t let anyone or anything stop you. Take control of yourself and please don’t wait until next summer to start. Begin now because there is no tomorrow; what we have is today. They say whatever we eat, it shows.
Here is my half-year’s inventory. When 2016 started with many of my practical goals, I had a goal to get rid off my weight machine and focus on a healthy lifestyle rather than looking good only in the summer. It’s has been more than six months and I haven’t check my weigh. At the beginning it was hard because I was so used to checking my weight weekly and my focus was on the numbers. But I found out the healthiest people around me who inspired me make eating healthy and exercise part of their lifestyle not the summer goal only. And they are in control, not their weight machine.
I am proud to say that I am also part of healthy people category and I feel great from inside to out. Growing up I knew from both side of my  parents that I have diabetes and high blood pressure. Also I love sweets. Honesty, when I was in thirties, I was sure it was just matter of time my Doctor will tell me I have diabetes and high blood pressure. This year I turned 44 years and I have a perfect health due to my healthy lifestyle. My whole point of writing about myself is that you can also have good health and pain free life. As long as you want to.There is no magic. We all have to work hard to reach our goals. Don’t be discouraged. We still have half of 2016 left. Start today and believe in yourself. And also stop having excuses for yourself. And if you need help ask and believe you can do it.
 “Think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right”. Henry Ford

Honoring a special friend

Once upon a time, in 2002, I met a beautiful woman name Lana Malaise at the Lincoln Trail cafeteria. I was there to have lunch with my oldest daughter, Iman and she was there to have lunch with her oldest daughter, Tori Trout.

I was still pretty new to the community and was going through a divorce. It was Lana who reached out to me and introduced herself. It turned out that our girls were already friends. I found out that Lana and her two daughters Tori and Leslie, moved from Florida to Mahomet with her new husband. I also found out that she and her family were church-going family.

Lana is white American and a  strong Christian, and I am Pakistani, born into a  different religious belief.

Also, back then my broken English wasn’t good. Between us, though, nationality, religion, race and language were never an issue. It has been 14 years since we met, and I am looking forward to getting old with her. Yes, we met because of our girls, but we kept our friendship going even after our girls finished high school.

Where do I begin writing about this beautiful woman?  First of all, I feel blessed and lucky to have a friend like Lana. The more I got  to know her, the more I enjoyed her. And I am not just saying this;I have seen that she truly cares about other people. I am proud to say that she is a perfect example of a good Christian.

Lana was also a single mother for a while, so she truly understands how a single mom’s life is with the kids. She is someone who will never judge you, but try to understand and go out  of her way to help you out. I have had countless episodes when I so needed a shoulder to cry or someone just to be there, and every single time, there she was.

In the last fourteen years, Lana and I have gone through lots of ups and downs, from raising teenage girls to my mother’s sickness and death, and many more life issues. She is not selfish at all.

She will change her plans if someone really needs her. That happened to me, and later on I found out she had plans with her family. When I asked her, “Why did you change your plans?”  her answer was “This was more important.”    

Later on, Lana had two more daughters, Shelby and Christy, and they both grow up right in front of me. All four of Lana’s daughters are very beautiful, sweet, respectful, caring and loving like their  mother.

Her husband’s name is Rene Malaise. What a great guy he is. I don’t have a brother, but if I did, I wish he would be just like Renee. He is very down to earth, humble, caring, nice, soft spoken and willing to help anytime. Since I met him, which is many moons ago. Rene has been my handy man. I don’t have to think twice; I can just call or text him, and he is always available to help.

We all of us Lana and her family and us didn’t just welcome each other our hearts but also into our homes. When anything happening in their home, we were invited, and when anything happened to my place, they were the first people to get the invitation. In other words,

we become one big happy family.

Since both of my girls’ colleges are far from home, most of the time I am by myself. It wasn’t just on special occasion here and there Lana said to me, “If you don’t have any plans, come me join us.” She wasn’t feeling pity or sorry for me, she simply asked me like any family member would ask. We have spend countless days together and have traveled far away, too.

Last Thanksgiving was their last Thanksgiving here in Mahomet. My girls and I went to their home and we had Thanksgiving together.I am hoping our story doesn’t end here because Lana and her family moved back to Florida on June 3. Of Course I am going to miss all of them a lot. But I am really happy for them. And we will visit each other for sure and continue our friendship.

In life we meet so many people, but not  everyone stays with us. But there are some very special people who will always stay with you. Lana and her family are some of those special people. I love each of you, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being part of my and my girls’ life. Friends forever!