Thursday, April 17, 2014

Single Woman Reality


I have been single for the last ten years. When I first became single everything was hard, overwhelming and new. But with time and struggles I started learning how to survive in this unfit society. Along with many other things, I noticed, not all but many men treated single women differently.  At first I didn’t understand why, all I knew was it made me uncomfortable. As a positive person I was thought to myself, I am still the same person so I tried not to look too deeply into it. I tried to think it was nothing but it soon became very obvious to me when my girls and I went to Chicago to visit an old friend. We had a good time but when my friend went to the kitchen to get something, her husband said to me, “Last night you were in my dream”. 
Unfortunately that was not my last time going through that kind of experience, even married men hit on me. When I was married I noticed people were respectful towards me but since my divorce many of them don’t respect me the same way. Many people have no idea how much single women struggle, trying to make it each day, and living with their kids with her head up with her pride. For many men, single women become their entertainment and they think it’s perfectly acceptable to flirt with her.  Only my girls and I know how we have been living on our own and how we have made it this far.
Once my girls graduated and moved to their University I honestly thought things would be different now. But I was wrong. In my experience many men think now that her kids are gone it’s an even better opportunity to flirt and say anything they would like to her. And I am not OK with that at all. Here is my most recent experience. A few years ago a family moved from overseas, they seemed nice and friendly. Everyone started getting to know them and I also welcomed them, introduced myself and started getting to know them.  A month ago, I invited some people to my house for a get together and I sent the invitation to them as well. Husband texted me and told me his wife was out of state visiting family but would come with the kids. The same night I got another text from him, “Are you up for a drink after the kids go to sleep” I was kind of surprised and didn’t like his text at all because we aren't that kind of friends. My daughter was home so I told him I was busy with her, hoping he would get the point but he didn’t. A few days later I got his text again, “Hi, how are you? Still with the girls? I hope you are enjoying them :-) I'm still wifeless ;-)” I ignored his text thinking he might get the message but like last time he did not, another text came “Everything is fine. I was just flirting with you. Sorry if you think is inappropriate”. He admitted it and I think he got the point that it was wrong. But instead of assuming I decided to let him know he was wrong. I replied, “Oh My Gosh. Yes it is an appropriate. Your wife is out of town and you’re flirting with me. Next time please be careful”. His replied, “I will. You are too nice and fun to avoid the flirting. I'm sorry and yes, I will be careful”. 
            I am sure I am not the only woman feeling this way but I want those men who think it’s okay to hit on single women to know that it’s very disrespecting to other women. We aren't pieces of meat for your entertainment; we have feelings so please show some respect. How would you feel if other men acted inappropriately towards your mother, sister, wife, or to your daughters? And all the dirty men out there just because you don’t respect yourself that gives you no right to treat women disrespectfully.  

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