Life is beautiful!

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year

Happy 2014!

This is it! Ready or not 2013 is leaving and 2014 is entering into our lives. The beginning of the New Year is a beautiful time of the year. Our holiday spirit is high and people are excited and looking forward to the New Year, resolutions and more. But before we start our New Year I always like to look back at the previous year and do an inventory of what happened.

For my family 2013 was a bittersweet year. My youngest daughter turned 18 this year, graduated from high school and moved to Chicago for her university. Her leaving made my home empty. This was a change for all three of us but we made sure to stay connected with each other on a daily basis. We were still very much involved in each other’s lives although I am still going through this process of change.

We didn’t plan to travel anywhere due to more important things such as college and other things. But life doesn’t always go with our plans. Three weeks before my youngest daughter graduated I find out my mother had a stroke and she was in coma for 3 days. When I heard the news I couldn’t think of anything else but to go and visit her. My girls also wanted to go and visit their grandmother. There had been no plan before to go anywhere over the summer but for the summer of 2013 my girls and I went to Karachi and spent the time with family. It was a very painful and stressful visit but we all gained a lot. I am a planner and I think before taking any kind of step especially before going to Pakistan. But this time I felt like there was no planning but family always comes first. As young adults my girls got the chance to see how other people are also living around the world. And how their attitude is towards living without electricity, iPhones and living in more then 100 degree temperature without air-conditioning. Things that we take granted for. This trip brought the whole family closer to each other and made me think more about how important family is. Since we all came back in early July not a day goes by that we don’t think about or talk to family back home. My mother’s sickness took a huge toll on the entire family. We all feel blessed that she is still around us. There were many times we all felt helpless and hopeless but we tried our best.

In 2013 I reached my goal and both of my girls graduated with honors but after they both moved out I felt empty and lost. My whole life was in front of me. At first I didn’t understand the feelings I had but I had to deep dig and realize that I have never lived by myself. I am used to taking care of others. I never put myself first and now what am I supposed to do with this free time? What is it that makes me happy? I had to do a lot of soul searching. Due to my mother being sick I worried a lot as well and it affected my health. I felt depressed and overwhelmed a lot but I kept moving on and I am glad I made it to the end of 2013.

We all know that financially and in many other ways, this was another very stressful hard year for many Americans. A lot of bad things happened to lots of people and to our schools and many of us feel lucky to survive through tornadoes and other unfortunate events around us. When I talked to many people and asked how their 2013 was and sadly not many people had a great year. I hope 2014 will be a better year for all of us. For whatever reason if you couldn’t reach your goal don’t be discouraged. We can’t go back into our past but we can always start from where we are and reach our goals in 2014. No matter how your year was good or bad, think positive and hope for the best. Focus on what you have not what you don’t. We are still blessed and lucky to have lots of people who love and care for us! Life is beautiful! I wish you all very Happy 2014 New Year!

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Boston Bombing

When I heard the news about the Boston bombing, the question came in to my mind like many others did, why? A marathon is such a beautiful thing. This is a first year I did my 5k and the achievement feeling was indescribable. I can’t ever imagine how the people who have been running for many years feel each year. And for many, this was their first marathon. So why would people do such a horrible thing? What do they get out of it?

According to our media, the bombers were young brothers who happened to be from Chechnya and were Muslims. I don’t care where they are from or what religion they belong to. It was an inhumanly act and they are fully responsible for it. How dare they kill people and injure many. There is no excuse for them. I feel horrible for the ones who have lost their lives and for the runners and also for their families. Those poor innocent people had nothing to do with their personal issues. I am sad to say I feel like we aren’t safe anywhere. Now we never know anything can happen to anybody and anywhere. And that’s not the way should be. What happened to our freedom?

We all have been watching in the news about the Middle east, bombings everyday has become normal to them. Even in my country Pakistan; bombings, killings, and strikes are so common people have become used to it. I hope the United States never gets to that place where humans become so cheap and have no values. I hope this was the last time and we all will live free and don’t have to think twice before we step outside our doors.

I am not a religious person but I do believe in God. And I believe nobody has the right to take another humans life except God. This is the United States of America. All over the world people come to this country for freedom or for better lives. I wish and I am praying this kind of act never happens again to this county and we all live safe and free lives.

Power of positive energy

Have you noticed how people from different places have different energies and different atmospheres? Some places you go make you want to stay this is the same with people, some people attract you and therefore you spend more time with them. The reverse is true as well. You meet with these people and have no desire to see them again. Everything has energy, it isn’t spiritual or scientific. It’s an innate thing within all of us, it’s a gut feeling that we receive from places and people. Positive people and places draw us back in, when we return to those places or people it’s just as fun and welcoming as it was before.

I am a big believer in energy and I have my own personal positive and negative experiences about places and people. Ever since I moved to the U.S returning back home to Pakistan has always been a peculiar experience for me. Don’t forget that experiences are different for everyone, so someone’s negative experience may also be another’s positive one. As soon as I got off the airplane in Karachi and touched down in Pakistan, I felt negative energy all over me. It was like a cloud overwhelming me. Even though I was going home and looking forward to meeting with my family, part of me wanting to turn around and come back to America.

It’s sad to say but every time that I have gone, I have felt the same negative energy. The last time I returned I took my daughters with me. I was worried and nervous the whole time and counting the days until we came back. When we were coming back to the U.S we had a layover at Heathrow, and because of the positive feeling I had there I felt perfectly comfortable letting my daughters walk around. I couldn’t do that in Karachi.

We all know that negative energy is powerful. You don’t realize it but it takes over you in no time and you get pulled in. When we are young we don’t understand these kinds of things, but with age and experiences we start to understand more and more. Negative people are everywhere; they are in our families, neighborhood, and work places. In some cases we can’t avoid them. But I have learned that although negative energy is strong, positive energy is stronger and contagious. It’s not easy to think positive all the time but it has the power to change our outlook, and to change the negative into the positive. It is happy, relaxing, contagious, hopeful, confidence, and good for our soul and body, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it” (Charles Swindoll).

I have always been a positive person but there are some days where it’s hard to be positive all the time. But that’s when I notice how quickly the negative takes over. Even the people around me; my daughters, co-workers and family can all feel my negative energy. I normally bounce back pretty quickly, but as most people can attest, it isn’t the easiest. Your energy affects how others feel too, if you are feeling good and positive that will rub off on others as well. So why not try to look at things as if, “The glass is always half full”.

Not all, but lots of people have negative thinking and want others to feel sorry for them and pity them. Those people are generally unhappy, and always have that perspective. They may constantly be complaining and making things about their lives not others. Those kinds of people are choosing to live that way, so why should you have to have that energy and outlook given to you as well? I have known many people who have experienced those kinds of situations. When you try to give them something positive, the opposite happens. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help those friends, everyone is responsible for their own actions. Help as much as you can, but don’t forget who you are, you deserve to be around happiness.

I believe positive people are happy and hopeful people. You don’t need money or things to be happy but changing your attitude can do it. Having a positive attitude is a very strong tool and good for a healthy body and mind. Whatever has happened in the past is over, there is no way to change. So instead focus on the present and hope for the best of the future.

Prom Dress

Once again my youngest daughter and I are on a mission to find a prom dress. We have been all over town but still no dress. This isn’t my first time shopping for prom dresses but this is my last time because she is a senior. It’s not like stores don’t have prom dresses, they do but the one my daughter is looking so she hasn’t found. I don’t conceder myself as a conservative mother and my girls and I both believe in moderation. I wonder if other parents and daughters have also noticed what we have. The prices for prom dresses have sky rocketed. I don’t understand why they are so expensive. Don’t they want every girl to have a prom experience?

Another major reason she hasn’t found a dress is because most of the dresses are very revealing or short. My oldest daughter and I noticed the same thing last year too, she had a hard time finding the proper dress. But each year it seems like to us dresses are becoming to show more skin, short, and tight. Every girl’s size and figure is different. But almost all of the dresses are made for full/big figured girls. What about the girls who need a smaller size. Those girl’s choices are limited.

I wonder who is to blame, is it the fashion designers or they are selling what the consumers want. Why would fashion designers want our young girls to show that much skin. I don’t think they are attractive and helping our teens at all. We all know how delicate this age is, they are in the process of finding who they are and at the same time trying to fit in, in this unfit society. Going to prom is a big deal for many girls and they want to look extra pretty, attractive, and happy. As a mother I have seen in both of my girls how frustrated they get when buying a prom dress becomes stressful instead of fun.

I can only imagine how some parents feel pressured buying unapproved dress for their daughters only because they are selling what they want our girls to buy rather than fulfill our girl’s needs. I don’t thing being fashionable is a bad thing but everything should have a limit and in moderation. And showing skin as much as possible isn’t attractive at all. We think it looks cheap, unattractive and sends the wrong message to bad people.I think clothing itself for our teen girls is a huge issue for society, whether buying a prom dress, or any other kind of clothing for any occasion. When we meet someone, the first thing we look is how the other person is dressed up. And based on their outside look we judge that person and later once we start getting to know each other that is when we find out if we like that person or not. Whatever clothing we have on is what we get judged by.

I hope fashion designers and society will turn around soon and start making modern clothing for our teen girls. So the next generation doesn’t have to go through the same thing we parents and our girls are dealing with.

Under age parties or danger

You all had have heard the news about the Ohio high school football players sexual assault of an intoxicated 16 years old. It’s all over the news and if you haven’t heard hare is the link: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/steubenville-high-school-football-players-found-guilty-rape-16-year-old-judge-article-1.1291087

I don’t know where to began writing about this inhumanly act. After reading this news my emotions where sky rocking, I felt angry, frustrated, sad and very mad at those parents who didn’t know where there kids where and because of lack of parenting now poor 16 years old girl had to deal this horrible incident rest of her life and those two football players future got destroyed and instated of finishing high school and follow there dreams they are sitting in a jail for now. I am not supporting kids but how many 16 or 17 years old are mature to understand what’s right or wrong for them, not many. And who’s job to be there and supervise them, us parents. But if some parents don’t think under age drinking and out of control parties are okay then I feel sorry for them. I hope this is the wakeup call for many kids and the parents. Just because your kids are honor student and involved in sport that doesn’t mean your parenting job is over. Our kids still need for our giddiness. We shouldn’t have over confidence in our kids and believe my kids will never do such a thing like that.

When I was watching this case on 20/20 http://abcnews.go.com/Health/steubenville-rape-trial-15-tips-parents-alcohol-sex/story?id=18785416#.UU81njecxac I was having a really hard time trying to understand the whole situation what had happened and how but a lot had went wrong. What about kids curfew how 16 and 17 years old was out that late of the night and where did they get that much alcohol, there was no adult supervision. The girl had so much alcohol in her system she didn’t remembered what happened night before. Kids went to three different parities same night and in all three homes there was no adult/parent available. My mind is puzzled. And there was lost of other teens but none of them thought what was wrong on was wrong may be we should call our parents or police instead of that they took her naked pictures and video tape and twitted. To me every single person where involved are responsible for what happened that night.

I am also a parent of two teen daughters and I feel like when my girls friends come over to our house for anything as a adult I am not just responsible for my daughter but to other kids too because I am the adult here. And I also hope if someone seems my daughters doing they shouldn’t doing or if they are in danger someone would call police or me.

I am sure many of Mahomet community families are aware underage kids drinking and parting but if you aren’t please be were. Let’s not live in a denial and think my child would never do that such a thing or my kids is a honor student she/he is mature enough to do such a thing. That is so not true. The two Ohio school football players were very good students too and from a good family. I know and I am sure you know that too underage drinking and parities happening in Mahomet too and especially during and after the gradation time. I am hope we all parents and the kids would have learned lesson from there mistake. And hope and pray our kids would make a right decision and later be proud of them and make us proud too.

Cell Phone Etiquette

There was a time when cell phones as common as they are today. In the past, it was only used for emergencies. Times have changed greatly. Cell phones have become our necessity and today if someone tells us they don’t have a cell phone, it’s hard for us to believe. Everyone carries a cell phone, I mean everyone not just adults, kids do too. Due to the competition, cell phone prices have been dropping and are now affordable for many people. And it’s much cheaper than having a land line. They also have family plans; every single person of the family can have their own cell phone for an affordable price. There are many great benefits of having a cell phone. And cell phones have made our lives so much better and easier. Now, we don’t have to wait to go home to make a call. If we need to find out about anything or anyone we can do it right away.

Texting is another great way to communicate and be connected with people. I text my girls throughout the day without hearing their voices and still know where they are and what they are doing. But what about cell phone etiquette? Do we know it and how many of us are following it? Are we thinking about other people’s privacy and the time and place? Back then, cell phones were being use only for emergencies, but today it’s a different case. People are calling each other from anywhere and they are having all kind of conversation they would like to have.

People used to put their phone in their bag or purse. But today it’s attached to their body. As soon as anyone calls or texts people, we can’t wait to look at it. When I go out and I am sure many of you have had this experience too, some cell phone ringers are way too loud; the whole place can hear it. And when people are talking on the phone, they talk way too loud and forget they’re around other people. Not everyone would like to know about their personal life. It’s a very rude thing not to consider other people’s privacy. If your call is that important, go somewhere quite and make it short.

Another thing, why do people put their phone on speaker? Other people don’t want to know your whole conversation. I have also seen people multi-tasking while on the phone. It’s very dangerous and annoying, such as being on the phone while driving, shopping, banking, waiting in line, ordering almost anything that involves interacting with other human beings. People’s life can’t be more important than a phone conversation. I have also seen people using their cells phone where they shouldn’t be, such as at the movie theaters, while meeting with others, live performances, funerals, weddings and while visiting relatives or friends or pretty much everywhere. Even if your phone is on vibrate, people can still hear it. The light from your phone's screen is also very distracting.

Cell phone etiquette is as important as any other etiquette in life. People should think about other’s privacy and be sensitive in public. And cell phone etiquettes apply to everyone, not just adults. But we parents are the ones giving cell phone to our children’s, we need to teach them the manners and also be a role model. Kids learn faster that way. I feel like we abuse cell phones without even thinking about it. It’s not hard to think before making a call or picking up the phone call, where you are and who are you with.

If you haven’t noticed, start noticing now and you won’t be surprised to see how people are using their cell phones and how inconvenient and annoying it can be for people around them. I believe the cell phone is a great invention, we should appreciate it and use it wisely.

The identity thief

I used to be one of those people who never thought that my identity could be stolen. When I watched TV commercials about identity theft I used to think it was for people who weren’t careful with their personal information, but I was wrong. I see now that identity theft is real and happens everywhere. I know understand it much more, being that this recently happened to me.

If you are a single parent or someone with lots of responsibilities you will understand that taking care of everything isn’t easy at all. We juggle a lot and try to do our best in all areas, but sometimes it’s not possible and you miss important things. I am someone who is a very careful and cautious person. Along with my other responsibilities I manage my finances as well. But in reality it’s not easy to see where you are spending every single penny. Unless, at the end of each month, before you pay your bills, you sit down and do your own math and then make the payments. That requires time and energy, something many of us don’t have.

I have been using my American Express card for more than a decade and have never had a problem with it. I use that card a lot so I can earn points. With my life style I never pay full attention on each item, I do my own math before I make payments but only with a quick glance. My eyes mostly go to the big numbers. Three months ago, my daughter moved out so I got some extra time. As many of you know when you are busy, you don’t have time to think about anything extra but as soon as you get a break your attention goes to the small things that may have slipped your mind before.

During my winter break, I paid more attention to the bills and noticed that there was a charge on my card. I thought my daughter must have bought something, so I just had to make the payment. The following month, I didn’t use that card at all but received the charge again. I called my daughter and asked her what she was buying each month for the same amount. She said, “Mom, I don’t use the American Express card at all. The last time I used it was when I was with you in Illinois”. That made me very concerned. Right a way I called American Express and asked about the charge. They told me that it was a, “electronic payment setup”. She then asked, “You don’t remember setting it up? I said, “No, I have never done any electronic payment setup”. Then I asked her where my money is going she said, the company name is Experian and it’s not in Illinois. At this point I was feeling very stressed and worried. I have never heard about this company name before. She then told me this company checks credit each month. She told that they have been charging me for the last six months.

I started feeling really nervous. Someone has been using my card for the last six months and I had no clue about it. I was getting upset at myself. The fraud department lady was very nice. She told me that she was canceling my card and in two days I would get a new card along with all of my credit for the past 6 months.

The next morning I called the company “Experian” and asked where they got my information. They told me they had my card information but in a different name. A name I have never heard of. After I told them it wasn’t me, they canceled that account and also offered the entire amount that had been charged on my card. I wasn’t very concerned about the money but rather about the identity theft.

I never thought this could happen to me. I am very carful about providing my personal information and never thought someone could get it. Please be careful and learn from my experience. When you get your credit card bill check it twice, and make sure the charges are correct. I made a mistake not taking the time to go over each charge. Don’t take identity theft lightly it’s real and is happening to many people.